Babble Fish

Salak South Park #1

Disclaimer:

Sing this according to the tunes of the South Park theme song:

Meanwhile is Salak South Elementary, after school…

Eric: Hey guys. My mum said all adults are going to have their erections on March 8th. I asked her why, she said because the Prime Minister wants an erection on that day. I checked it up, women cannot have erections because they don’t have willies…

Kyle: It’s election, you fat ***. It’s the day that people vote to choose their leaders.

Eric: What do you know Kyle. You’re a Jew.

Kyle: Hey! Stop making racist comment, you fat ***.

Kenny (muffled): Eric is a fat *** racist. hahaha.

Everybody laughed…

Eric: **** you guys. I am going home…

The next day in school…

Mr. Garisson: Ok children. Since the whole Salak South Park is going crazy about the coming election. Today we are going to talk a little bit about e…lec…tion. (writing on the blackboard)

Kyle (looking at Eric): You see fat ***, it is election not erection. I was right.

Eric: Shut up Kyle!

Mr. Garisson: What the hell is happening there Eric. Do you want Mr. Hat to pinch your titty? Children, I want you to go home, find out more about election and tell the whole class tomorrow.

At Eric’s house…

Eric: Mum… can you tell me what election is?

Eric’s mother: What do you want to know about the election sweetie pie?

Eric: Whatever mum, Mr Garrison wants us to say something about the election in class tomorrow.

Eric’s mother: Oh! That’s very good sweetie. You see. Election happens once in a while. And we have to make sure we vote the government. You see, I am worried to let the opposition win. Terrible things will happen if they win.

Eric: What are your worries? What terrible things that will happen?

Eric’s mother (raised voice): What is the matter with you Eric? Have you been reading the opposition propaganda on the Internet?

Eric: But mum… you haven’t told me what are the terrible things that is going to happen if the opposition wins the election!

Eric’s mother (raised voice): That’s it Eric, you’re grounded! You go to your room now! And I don’t want you to say anything about the election anymore!

Meanwhile, at Kenny’s house during dinner…

Kenny (muffled): Dad, can you tell me what is the election?

Kenny’s father: Do you know why we are only eating canned bake beans for dinner now? Do you know why I am an alcoholic? Do you know why you have wear this orange outfit whole year round?

Kenny (muffled): Er… nope.

Kenny’s father: That’s because the prices of everything went up and I still make the same amount of money. We used to be poor and we are poorer now! **** the government! Vote the opposition! **** yeah!

The next day in Salak South Elementary…

Mr Garisson: Ok children… What have you found out about the election?

Eric puts up his hand.

Mr Garisson: Ok Eric, what is your finding?

Eric: Mr Garisson, we have to let the government win the election. If not, we are going to be so… screwed…

Mr Garisson: Can you tell me why we are going to be so… screwed…?

Eric: Mr Garisson are you on those opposition propaganda shit?

Mr Garisson: You better watch your mouth fat ***.

Class laughed.

Mr Garisson: Ok! Who’s next?

Kenny puts up his hand.

Mr Garisson: What say you Kenny?

Kenny (muffled): We are so screwed not because of the government. The opposition has to win the election.

Special branch officers storm into the class room.

Fat officer: We received a report that we have someone here who is spreading lies about the government. So who is this traitor among you all?

Kenny (muffled): What the hell?

Fat officer: What are you muffling kid?!

Kenny (muffled): Screw you!

Fat officer: That’s it! I can’t understand a word that he is saying. He must be the blogger that we are seeking. Shoot him!

Gun shot through Kenny’s head.

Stan: Oh my god! They’d killed Kenny!

Kyle: You bastards!

Fat officer: Ok guys! Mission accomplished. Let’s go go go!

Special branch officers left the class room.

Stan: Dear friends, I learned something new today. We are screwed when the government is in power and we will be screw if the opposition be the government. So why don’t we have half of the government and half of opposition in that big room full of people shouting at each other. Let them screw each other and not us.