Archive for the ‘Satirical Fish’ Category

Please have a concert!

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

I was in Japan a few years ago for some work. I was so glad that the 1st Word Peace Now protest march (seemed more like a festival parade to me) took place in Tokyo when I was there. There was a concert in Yoyogi park to gather all the people for the march. I was invited by my friend who happened to be one of the organisers. The so-called protest was so much different from ours in KL. It was fun! No water cannon, no FRU with batons waiting to beat people up. (more…)

Mrs McFish on Malaysian Education

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

Dear Mr Otobayi Adabola Samuel Lai,

I am glad that you are concerned about the issue of emulating Malaysian education in Africa and thanks for your mail. Of course, you should not emulate our education in Africa. In fact, you MUST NOT. Please read on to know why.

First of all, we need your money. Our economy is not so good for the past few years so any influx of cash is good. That’s why our ex-Prime Minister will welcome President Mugabe with open arms. Who cares if he’s crook? Money matters and good friends will have a special pass at the airport.

Secondly, you Africans should come to Malaysia to “enjoy” our education and we can help you to save some money too. Sounds ridiculous? Hell not! It actually makes perfect sense because we have something called the twinning program with western universities. That means you don’t have to spend Pound Sterling but Ringgit for the first two years to get a UK degree by studying in Malaysia. Clever isn’t it? Imagine how much money you can potentially save. Do your math, 1 Pound Sterling is 6.2 Ringgit. And don’t worry about our English here, we won’t force you to speak perfect Queen English, you can keep your African accent. We can tolerate yours and have our own to preserve.

Thirdly, speaking from experience, my cousin didn’t know where Africa is when he was 12 years old. I don’t think you want your African children to be like that right? Not knowing where Africa is.

Last but not least, your concern for the employability of the graduates. Hah! You see, you already have enough unemployment in Africa. Emulating the education system will not solve your problems. Come study here, when you are unemployed, we have plenty of low-paying shitty jobs here waiting for you.

I hope this will help.

Sincerely,
Mrs McFish

Letter to Mrs McFish: Africa should emulate M’sian education

Friday, April 11th, 2008

Dear Mrs McFish,

I was reading the news today and I bumped into an interesting piece called “MALAYSIA’S EDUCATION SUCCESS COULD BE EMULATED: UNESCO CHAIRMAN”. You see, Olabiyi Babalola Joseph Yai, the new Unesco Executive Board chairman said, “You have made a kind of revolution in education in the last few years, we are very proud… this is something to emulate in Africa.”

I consider myself as a very lucky African because I have the chance surf the net everyday to know more about the world. So I am really concerned when I googled “malaysia unemployable graduates” I was surprised by the results!!!

Mrs McFish, I know that you are wise person. I trust you to provide me with some guidance on this issue because I really want my fellow Africans to prosper and grow. So how good is the Malaysian education?

Sincerely yours,
Mr Otobayi Adabola Samuel Lai

Mrs McFish’s reply #1

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

Dear Frog-about-to-Riot,

To remain as a professional columnist that is objective and respond to any desperate hail, I won’t put my personal comment on frogs, especial the party-hopping ones, here. However, I can’t stop people from hating you though.

It is your right to hop. And since you are a frog, you have no other options to move around without hopping and no one can take the hopping away from you. But you have to bear in mind that the slime balls who organise the old parties do not like you hopping around when their parties have no more fun. And if the new party organisers won’t trust you because you might hop to another party if you find another more interesting party.

You are a party-hopping frog. It’s a fact and no one can change it. So be it.

All the best,
Mrs McFish

Letter to Mrs McFish #1

Monday, March 24th, 2008

Dear Mrs McFish,

I know that you are wise and your fisheyes can see more things than anyone else in this world. Therefore, I am writing you this letter hoping you will provide me some answers.

I am a frog you see, and I am from Sarawak. I like parties, that’s why I hop from one to another when there’s fun in it. Recently, some slime balls from the Peninsula wanted to set a law to ban me from party-hopping. I don’t think this is fair. What should I do?

Sincerely yours,
Frog-about-to-Riot